There is a misconception that if you haven’t got your life together by 30, you’ll never make it in life. It’s a societal expectation that is sold to us in childhood, through the media and by those around us. Some of us appear to be wanderers – unable to hold down a job, jumping from one thing to another with no stick-ability.
But no one ever asks the question of why?
Why do we change jobs, switch careers or give up a seemingly good life? In part, we do these things because we feel an innate dissatisfaction with ourselves, our situations and the reality we find ourselves in.
It’s not that we don’t want a good life – rather, it’s a search for a deeper sense of personal satisfaction and happiness that our jobs, relationships and current lives cannot provide. We yearn for more but don’t quite know what that more looks like.
The tale of the overnight successes
The overnight success stories is the culmination of wanderers finally finding a path that is true to them as a person.
As children, there are certain topics and skills that we are drawn to. But the process of growing up often beat it out of us. It’s not uncommon for us to find ourselves as strangers to ourselves.
We venture into the deep waters of a land that is not our own, only to find ourselves gravitating towards that which we are innately attracted to. Whether it be arts, music, a form of science, writing or whatever that thing is that sparks your limitless curiosity and desire to know more.
When we look at overnight successes, we only choose to see what we want to see – the success and not the toil, the pain, the confusion, the great jumbled line that was their journey. We trick ourselves into thinking that success is a linear process – but it’s not and it never has been.
The journey has to always begin
The issue with journeys is that we often begin but quickly throw in the towel because it seems either impossible or impassable. We lose our footing, we realize we’ve made a mistake or we get spooked by the sudden and potentially drastic implications it’s having to our livelihood.
So we stopped and find ourselves back in our space of dissatisfaction and once again a stranger to ourselves.
To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.Søren Kierkegaard
What can we do when we start but lose our footing?
5 people to help you on your journey
According to Stacey Flowers, you need these 5 people in your life. They are vital towards helping you on your journey towards happiness, self fulfillment and deeper sense of satisfaction with one’s existence.
This is the person that believes in you when you struggle to believe in yourself. It happens a lot and sometimes we need someone external to help remind us that we are all capable of doing great things.
The mentor doesn’t teach but rather, they point you in the right direction when you’re feeling lost. When you’re on a journey towards self discovery, the mentor vital because you will get lost a lot. They are an external pair of eyes and embodiment of understanding that can see if you’re heading in the wrong direction, especially in times when we get disoriented.
The coach is often mistaken for the mentor. But the coach is different. The coach is the person that takes you out of your comfort zone – something that pushes your boundaries and maximizes your potential. The coach will always try to get you to run faster, work smarter and get better at what you do. They are vital for the continuation of your journey.
The friend is someone that hears out your dreams and deepest desires. They’re the ones that lets you daydream and doesn’t stop you when you think the impossible is possible. The friend is important because sometimes, dreams needs an audience to plant its seeds and make itself real.
The peer is someone to keep you focused on the task at hand. They keep you accountable and responsible for the things you put yourself up to do. Everyone has a off day but when off days string together into weeks and months, the peer is the person that will kick you and get you back to doing what you’re supposed to do.
From an outsider’s perspective, wandering through life can be a worrisome act – especially to those that have everything down and in good order.
We often appear directionless, confused and unable to stick – but the process of wandering is transforming us from within, in a way that only ourselves and the five people in our lives can see.
Wandering is a journey and at some point, we might and will probably get lost – but it’s not often that we stay lost forever. Everything eventually comes to an end and it’s just a matter of figuring out where our destination is and finding that which is absolutely true to ourselves.